1."You sure this is the only way?"
'No plan Bs here, man. You know that."
I laughed. After a few seconds, I sighed.
"Ha...you really did change." He smiled. "Yes. But you didn't change a bit. Hard a find a man like you in this battlefield."
Five minutes of deep silence passed after that. Blizzering wind started to freeze my hands. No matter how long I have crammed my hands inside the pocket, they froze instantly when the they were out of it. It was Carl who first broke the breath-taking silence.
"After thirty seconds I'll be in his view. Get ready. You must make no sound.""Carl."
"......Yeah?"
"You sure this is going to work?"
"Ah, damn. Not again with your..."
I looked into his brown eyes.
"You reckon we still can go home?"
"......" He kept silent.
"Carl, I..."
"Wherever it is, man, it is going to be whole lot better than this place."
He tried to make himself to talk calmly as possible.
"Just stop being a girl for a while, at least this minute."
"You can't abandon the Eagles like this." I said
He didn't answer. He only said briefly,
"Get ready."
'Fifteen, fourteen, thirteen, twelve, eleven...'
"This war is going to end." I said.
He smiled softly. Maybe he was sneering.
'...two, one.'
"And I'm taking you home." I said.
2.Ten years have passed from that day. That day still stays as a nightmare for me and it is very hard to detach my mind from it...... Still, the basic concept of life. The fact that I am a living being makes me prone to the sickly dread of guilt. Carl was dead, but not quite. I know this is a disgusting thing to say but this I'm starting to think that it would have been better off if he just died instantlyHe was supposed to be buried in the national cemetary ten years ago. Thing Standing in front of his hospital bed always makes me feel as if Carl will suddenly open his eyes. With a painful look on his face,(maybe I'm just imagining this) he is lying in his bed, silently. He can't say anything, really, but I could hear him accusing me of what I have done to him. Everytime when I have the same nightmare, I found myself putting on my clothes getting ready to visit Carl. I had stay with him during that night, convincing him even in my dreams that my action was for his own good.
But now, I didn't visit Carl to chit-chat again. When I start this business, lingering around one of those streets then I'll be lying beside him the next moment.
It has only been a few days that I have got the information about the guy who was supposed to be dead years ago. Right, the guy Carl and I tried to kill. He was one of the greatest snipers in the field at the time, just like I was. Luckily, he managed to live a little longer than I expected. Moreover, I found out that he is doing a drug business here in Boston, that prick.
It's well written, and seems like the beginning of a very long spy novel. You have a knack for writing in this narrative voice, and with a bit of work you could make this into something solid and intriguing.
답글삭제My only issues with this are - I'm not sure where the metaficiton element occurs, or if it occurs since you didn't post the original chainwriting work. Metaficition is supposed to have more than narrative or story layered into another, and I don't see that here. All in all, the 1-2-3 parts are a little obscure, and I can't precisely know what's going on. More work needed, and more attention to the details of the assignment required. However, you're a very good writer.